Building Resilience | 05

The power of rejection

Photo by Nick Morrison on Unsplash

Early one morning I awakened with an incredible insight, and I’ve been collecting rejection letters ever since

Remember a few weeks ago when we had that crazy full moon?

I do. I remember it very clearly because on one of those nights when the light was flooding the bedroom, I woke up far too early with a crystal clear thought in my head:

I don’t want to write memoir any more. I want to write humor.

If you’ve read any of my work, you’re probably thinking, Susan, you already write humor! You’re right. I do. But it’s in memoir form. Based, albeit loosely, on my life. That night — early morning, actually — sitting in the glow of the moon, I realized it was time for me to ditch any and all constraints.

It was time to write just for the joy of making people laugh.

Over the next few weeks, I wrote from different perspectives — the belts you can’t wear, the empty shelves in your supermarket, your pissed off 7-year-old. And, because I think I’m funny — if you don’t believe in you who will? — I’ve been submitting my work to top humor websites and publications across the country.

And getting rejected left and right.

Image by The Digital Artist via Pixabay

How dare you call my baby ugly!

To be clear, rejection letters are now rejection emails.

That lovely note popped up on my phone and I didn’t have to read any further than “We aren’” to know McSweeney’s had called my baby ugly.

It may have been the first time, but it was not gonna be the last.

McSweeney’s, Points In Case, and several others have now deemed several, many, of my babies ugly. They don’t say that, of course. They say “Thanks for the opportunity to read this. It’s just not hitting for me.”

Hmm. What will? A sledgehammer to the head?

No, there will be no bodily harm. There doesn’t have to be. Why?

Because now, I’m on their radar.

Not one of the big pubs has accepted one of my pitches yet (although an awesome mid-size-and-growing-fast one has! More than once!) but they will eventually. I know this because the rejections I receive have changed. Now they say things like “Hey Susan, this is great but it’s not the right fit for us. Please continue to submit though!”

I’m never going to be BFFs with these people, but the tone of their “take a hike” notes has changed.

So here’s my point

Photo by salvatore ventura on Unsplash

Being rejected and pushing forward anyway builds resilience.

• Go ahead. Tell me this baby is even uglier than the six I submiited previously. I’ll keep trying.

• I’m not a fit for this job? Fine. I’ll keep looking.

• My awesome grades and letters of recommendation don’t meet your school’s standards? Your loss. I’ll apply elsewhere.

I’m not saying rejection doesn’t hurt. Of course it does. But believing we bring something special to the party is what’s ultimately going to get is invited.

As a tee shirt one of sons had ages ago said,

Fall down 7 times. Get up 8.

Your assignment for the next week is to seek out rejection.

Kidding.

Your assignment is simply to remember, every day, all you have to offer. If someone or something doesn’t want it, think of it as God or the Universe giving you an important head’s up.

Just don’t give up.

Find a new avenue, tack a new tact, revise your approach, ask for advice or feedback and consider what you’re told. Sometimes a tweak is all it takes.

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Thank you for joining me again, friends. I’ll see you next Saturday. Have a wonderful week and if you’re finding this information helpful, I hope you’ll encourage others to subscribe!