Part Twenty-Six: "Does creativity run through your veins?"
It used to, but now it's just exhaustion
For quite some time now I’ve been looking for a job. I’m not unemployed, I actually have two contractor positions, but just like I know this house arrest shit isn’t ending anytime soon, I know that the better paying of my gigs is bound to end, abruptly, very, very abruptly, maybe this morning, maybe later today, who knows, but soon, very soon. Sooner than later.
And I have to replace that income before that happens.
So I’ve been looking and applying and telling anyone who’ll listen (right? Because you’re supposed to that) that I’m available for copywriting work. My portfolio is all cleaned up. My resume is updated and proofread. And my confidence is, well, “Menza Menz.” Pretty good. I can fake a pretty decent I’M THE SHIT! cover letter and not come off like an arse so I guess that’s ok.
I’ve got LinkedIn Premium. I check Indeed. I’m registered on SheWorks, Artisan Talent, 24/7 Talent, and We Are Rosie. I’m even on Upwork. Please, send me your scraps!
Every morning, during the writing time I once protected fervently, I’m online looking and applying and adjusting my resume to fill the bill of … whatever. And nothing. I’ve had maybe three bites in the last six months. But still, I persevere.
The ax is going to fall. Prepare! Prepare! Apply! Email! Call!
Smile when you write that cover letter! Smile when you make that call! Be peppy! Be professional!
Pretend you don’t want to vomit at the absurd, pompous job descriptions you’re responding to! Act like reading the following doesn’t make you want to smack someone and maybe their mother in the face:
We’re looking for people who have a serious .gif game for our team Slack channels!
Are you someone who cares deeply about anal health?
At XXX, it all began over breakfast. Do you eat breakfast?
And those are the ones without typos!
I woke up this morning and again, went to my desk. I opened LinkedIn, Indeed, and Upwork. I did a separate Google-search-witchcraft thing of “copywriter” and “remote” and whatever the hell else one of my friends told me to do that I’m always certain is sending me straight to some porn site on the dark web (and then who the hell is going to stay with kid?) or just blow up my laptop and yep, there were jobs to apply for.
I read one description,
“We’re on a mission to disrupt the global health and wellness industry!” Bully for you!
Then another,
“Does creativity run through your veins?” It used to, but now it’s just exhaustion.
And finally a third, probably written by the same 23-year-old on Red Bull who wrote the first two,
“Are you looking to push boundaries and possibilities?” Nope. No pushing. All pushed out.
Three job descriptions and I was ready to crawl back into bed from exhaustion.
Hmm. Maybe AARP has a job site I could search. Something with job descriptions written for people about to turn 62. Normal, dare I say it, boring job descriptions that say things like,
“We’re looking for a copywriter who has no interest in advancement. A wordsmith who simply wants to be a wordsmith and who hasn’t had the energy in years to be all “Let’s disrupt shit, man!” If you’re broken and beaten down by your kids, but can still put two words together, we want to hear from you!”
OMG I’d be all over that like white on rice, like my hair all over the house, like my kids to my debit card.
If you see a listing like that, send it my way, ok? And if not, it’s cool. Maybe Marshalls is hiring.
If you’d like to read parts 1-25 of Life On The Inside, you can do so here.
As always, thank you so very much for taking this journey with me. I appreciate it and you more than I can say!
At least the ad writers let you know right away you're not a fit. Very discouraging indeed.
Exhaustion is getting me down, too. I need a creativity boost, stat.
PS: I am also on LinkedIn, if you wanted to connect...