Part 76: Better to Stay Home in Bed with a Book

Life On The Inside is an email newsletter about life with my son who has autism and who has been under house arrest since April 2023. You can sign up here:

Sunday, July 28 I flew home to spend time with Rob before Mr. Lucky’s next court date and promptly got sick. Flat on my back, gastroenteritis, take Amoxicillin sick. No idea where I picked up the bacteria that felled me; it could have been from something I ate or touched, it could have been from drinking contaminated water. I could even have picked it up on the plane. Who knows? All I know is it wiped me out and, when I wasn’t awake and suffering and the biggest bitch ever born, I was asleep and blissfully unaware of my painful stomach and the evil headache that accompanied the whole thing. 

Making matters worse is that we had family here at the same time. Rob’s sister Kathy came to visit. I was absolutely, positively, 100% totally looking forward to seeing her. I even did something practically unprecedented: I took Wednesday off from work so I could go on an airboat ride with her and Rob and do whatever else they had planned. You know, like to go to lunch. Traipse around Everglades City. Relax, for Pete’s sake. 

But on Wednesday morning while I was out doing my best to get to 10,000 steps before we got on the road, I felt it. The corkscrewing, stabbing pain in my stomach. I soldiered on, more afraid of the scale than of passing out on somebody’s lawn, but by the time I got home I was wrecked. Common sense said, Sue, go to bed with a book. This is going to get worse before it gets better. 

But when have I ever listened to my own (or anyone else’s) common sense? That’s right. Rarely. 

So I got in the car, took the airboat ride, and tried not to be terrified of the two alligators swimming next to us.

That’s just one of them. And no, I didn’t take the picture. Rob did!

Anyway, I survived (and didn’t scream in front of all the real children on the airboat with us) and was kind of patting myself on the back (but not on my screaming stomach) when I learned that next on the agenda was…

a swamp buggy ride. 

Thanks, Jungle Erv’s, for letting me borrow this photo of a swamp buggy.

Hmm. it’s 90-something degrees in the sweltering Florida sun. The buggy appears to be at least six feet off the ground and thus that much closer to the sweltering Florida sun. And there’s no tarp or any kind of protective covering over the top of it.

Fantastic.

We’ll bake in the swamp buggy while being attacked by bugs and I shall die of gastroenteritis and maybe some unknown tick borne illness right here, in the heat, in front of my husband and sister-in-law.

Now someone who doesn’t have a screaming stomachache and headache would probably have the sense (there’s that sense again!) to say something polite upon seeing the swamp buggy and realizing that, no, today is not the day for me to get in (on?) that thing and risk barfing over the side and blacking out. Maybe something to the effect of, “You know, with the way I’m feeling and the heat, I think I’ll sit this one out. But you two go and enjoy yourselves.” 

Mature right? 

Maturity and common sense. Not my strong suits even when I’m healthy. 

Oh no. I took one look at the swamp buggy and blurted, “There is no way in hell I’m getting on that thing. I’m staying in the car.” 

What was I saying earlier about “real children”? Clearly I am one.

In the end, Rob and Kathy didn’t go on the swamp buggy ride either. They waited in line in the sun (why are there no tarps at this place?) for about 15 or 20 minutes before they too determined it would be best to enjoy the swamp buggy business on a cooler day. 

That sounded good to me, though I don’t think I’ll be invited along. And that’s probably for the best.

You go, outdoorsy types! With or without gastroenteritis, it’ll still be hot. And there’ll still be bugs. Which means there’s a high probability I’ll be bitchy.  

Better to stay home in bed with a book. 

---

Mr. Lucky and I head back to court on Monday, August 12. Fingers crossed that this is it. Thanks for being on this crazy ride (but not a swamp buggy ride!) with me. xo