Building Resilience | 12

The Other Side of the Storm

I can't tell you how many times I've navigated one storm or another and then completely forgotten that I did so.

Poof! Right out of my mind.

Me? Strong? I have no idea what you're talking about.

This is bad on so many levels the most important one being that when, not if, but when, I have to navigate through another tough situation I won't recall that:

I've already survived a storm (or three) and I’ll survive this one.

I think this “forgetting” has something to do with not wanting to mull over whatever happened. So, instead, I take the memory, lock it in a box, and throw away the key.

There. I’m safe now. I won’t keep thinking about it.

Not smart.

The only way to gain the strength that’s waiting on the other side of a storm is to acknowledge that you made it. Say it out loud. Don’t lock it in a box and throw away the key. Talk about it with your friends. They most likely went through it with you and down the road, when you're doubting you have the strength to get through something else, they'll be there to remind you that you can, you have! And they'll cheer you on.

On the other side of a storm is the strength that comes from having navigated through it. But ONLY IF YOU ACKNOWLEDGE THAT YOU'VE DONE SO. Own it. You earned it!

Bad things happen to good people: Divorce. Death. Financial strife. Job loss. A heartbreaking diagnosis. These things change us, but they don't have to diminish us, define us, or break us.

Quite the opposite.

If we allow it, these life-altering events can teach us to be strong or show us how strong we already are. And when that happens, as difficult as the path forward is, we can walk it.

Remember: You can be changed by what's happened to you. But you must refuse to be reduced by it.

Article: The Surprising Benefits of Scaring Yourself Silly

I’m not a fan of horror movies, but apparently “Frightening yourself for fun can help you bond with others, soothe stress and maybe even become more resilient.” It’s a great article. Check it out!

Book: Phosphorescence: A Memoir of Finding Joy When Your World Goes Dark, Julia Baird

“After surviving a difficult heartbreak and battle with cancer, acclaimed author and columnist Julia Baird began thinking deeply about how we, as people, persevere through the most challenging circumstances. She started to wonder when we are overwhelmed by illness, loss or pain, or a tragedy outside our control: How can we keep putting one foot in front of the other? Baird went in search of the magic that fuels the light within—our own phosphorescence. Here she reflects on the things that lit her way through the darkness, especially the surprising strength found in connecting with nature and not just experiencing awe and wonder about the world around her, but deliberately hunting it, daily.” From Amazon

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Thanks so much for joining me for this week’s edition of Building Resilience!